milesfromfine | My life's a jigsaw puzzle with the corner pieces missing.

My life's a jigsaw puzzle with the corner pieces missing.

True to their word, Ellen and Bobby had Sam in a real rehab center just as quick as they could arrange it. He wasn't sure how they'd managed it financially and that worry weighed on him as much as all the rest. Another item to add to the miles-long list of ways he'd complicated their lives.

He hadn't seen or heard from Dean since Bobby found him in that motel, either. His brother might have finally given up on him. Sam couldn't help but be a little glad for him, even though he felt the loss like a physical wound every day.

The rehab place wasn't... awful. Sam was messed up enough to resent being there and the withdrawals he suffered through in the first few days were horrific, although they did have medicines that helped a little. After he'd come through them and began to resemble something more like human, they'd started his treatment.

Or, tried to, anyway. Sam wasn't really interested in 'opening up' to strangers and being locked in a place he couldn't leave wasn't really encouraging him to change his mind on it. Progress was slow. Very slow. Sam wasn't sure he'd ever get to leave the place, which was probably exactly what he deserved.

The only part of the whole mess that didn't suck completely was the time each day that he was permitted to sit in the sun room with the other patients. He hadn't really done much in the way of mingling, but it was nice to sit in the seats along the big windows and feel the sun on his face for a while.

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"Sounds perfect. Let's do it." He grinned and grabbed Gabe's hand, tugging him toward the nurse's station. Before Gabe, he never would have thought to touch someone else so casually. Now, he didn't think about it at all. It was just that easy.

Gabriel lets himself be dragged over, laughing as they go. It's been a hell of a thing, watching how Sam has changed since they first met. He smiles more often, is quick to touch and Gabriel can't get enough of it.

Convincing the nurses to get a pass for the afternoon is a bit of a negotiation, but Gabriel helps finesse the discussion (good to know some habits haven't gotten too rusty) and they're headed back towards their rooms to get a few things while the nurse called for a cab.

"If we get two dogs, we can each name one, but today I totally call dibs on ice cream." He shoves his wallet into his pocket. "My treat."

It was fascinating to watch Gabe work. He could talk anyone into anything, Sam was sure. For his part, he just stayed close and tried to look both cute and responsible. It was getting easier.

He just about bounced when they got the okay to go. The problem with his newfound ability to actually feel things was that he now kind of had trouble reining it all in. On the whole, he supposed that was a better problem to have.

"Alright, if you insist." Sam shrugged and smiled, leaning against the door frame of Gabe's room. "I'll just get it next time."

Happy, completely boundless Sam was a thing of absolute joy. Gabriel couldn't get enough of how every positive emotion welled up and spilled over into his expression. He toes on his shoes and heads back to the door to raise up for a quick kiss. "Sounds like a pretty good deal to me."

The cab was quick and they slid into the back, Gabriel giving the address to the driver before sliding his hand into Sam's. Leaving the facility. They were taking their first steps together outside, making a new life together.

He couldn't wait.

"So. Couple of big dogs?"

There was a moment of free-falling fear when he stepped outside the front door. The clinic had been his home for months and kept him insulated from all the temptations that brought him down before. It was a little scary to leave that safety. Fortunately, he wasn't doing it alone.

Sam threaded his fingers with Gabe's and sat back in the cab, watching the scenery go by. He glanced over when Gabe spoke and he smiled. "Yeah, sounds good. With lots of personality and energy. Gotta be up for walks and lots of fetch."

It's always a little scary leaving the place, but with Sam at his side Gabriel barely notices. Holding hands, basking in the fresh air and the possibilities of a new life together. They were really going to do it. Get out and build something amazing. The two of them.

"Jack Russell. Bouncy little guys with tons of energy. Or maybe something a little bigger to keep up with those gigantor legs of yours," he teases with a wink.

Sam snorted and gave Gabe's hand a squeeze. "Always liked medium sized dogs. Labs, retreivers... maybe a pit bull."

Actually, a pit bull kind of appealed to Sam. He liked the idea of rescuing a dog nobody else wanted.

"Ooh. Always had a soft spot for pits," Gabriel hummed, leaning in close. "Ok, we're here." His smile brightened and he tugged at Sam's hand, "Come on, let's go see who wants to come home with us."

Home. Us. God he could get used to ideas like that. Sharing them with Sam.

"Might be easier to make a list of who doesn't." Sam chuckled and handed a few bills over the seat to the driver to cover their ride, then climbed out after Gabe, just as excited. Maybe they couldn't bring their dogs home today, but they could find some and get the paperwork started. One step closer to their future.

Gabriel took his hand, leading them into the shelter and into the echoes of excited dogs barking and people chattering. They'd get the paperwork started for the dogs and in about two weeks they could bring the dogs home.

"We'll start looking for a new place tonight. Someplace that'll have plenty of room for all of us."

"Sounds good." Sam nodded, looking around the place. There were families and couples everywhere in various stages of the adoption process. It was fun to see the little kids with their furry news friends. Sam was pretty excited by the idea that he'd have one of his own, soon. And a home with a partner and family nearby. It was real. "Something with a yard."

He glanced over and grinned. "And probably a bakery of some kind nearby to feed your sweet tooth."

Another laugh and Gabriel nudged him. "Are you kidding? I'm gonna learn how to do it myself. Consider yourself my test subject kiddo. And if Ellen is a good cook, I'm going to have to start picking your mom's brain for lessons."

Taking his hand, he tugged him towards a row of cages. Medium and large sized dogs and a red brindled pit bull looking up at them with the best approximation of a doggy grin, tail wagging furiously. "Well look at this guy."

"Hey, there," Sam greeted the dog, squatting down to get more on eye-level with him. That one certainly looked like he was ready to take a few walks and chew a few tennis balls. "You've got miles of personality, don't you?"

He reached a few fingers through the wire to scratch behind an ear and earn himself some enthusiastic licks. Sam flashed Gabe a grin. "Think we have a very good candidate, here."

Gabriel grinned, dropping down to kneel beside Sam and get his own fingers happily licked as the dog capered behind the wire at them. "Oh yeah, I think this one's ready to come home with us. Whaddaya say boy?"

whuff

"So yes. Awesome." Gabriel jotted the name down on a form he was holding in one hand. "Now we just need to find you a playmate, big guy and we'll get the ball rolling."

"We'll be back," he promised the pup, giving one last scratch through the wire before he pushed reluctantly to his feet. It was tough to walk away from that smiling, doggy face, but they needed to find the fourth member of their little family first. "Start thinking about whose shoes you want to chew on first."

"Big shoes. Moose sized," he calls over his shoulder, giving Sam a playful nudge as they continued on down the corridor. There were wire cages on either side, playful dogs romping and barking and generally giving them the pitiful eyes when the rest didn't work.

"So. Who else looks like they'd be a good playmate for the big guy back there?"

"Hey!" Sam gave a mock huff and nudged him as they walked through the other kennels. Man, it was going to be hard to choose. Sam had really never met a dog he didn't like.

Eventually, he stopped by a cage with a medium-sized dog inside. The fur was mostly white with a brown spot around one eye. The dog looked kind of like half of two other dogs smushed together. The front half was broad and stocky like a pit bull. The back half was thinner and wiggly like a greyhound. Sam watched him drop his chin on his front paws, butt high in the air, tail wagging ecstatically.

"What about this one...?"

"Well look at this dust mop," Gabriel said with a grin. "Oh yeah. I think he'll give Big Red back there a good run for his money. What do you think furface? Ready to find a forever home with a moose?"

The paperwork finished and deposit paid, Gabriel leaned on the outside of the shelter, basking in the sun beside Sam. Dogs. They were going to have dogs. And a house. He was going to have to get on that tonight. Quirking a grin up at Sam, he nodded towards the little square of shops. "Ice cream before we head back?"

Sam snorted and gave a mock sniff as he slung an arm around Gabe's shoulders. "Well, of course we need ice cream. That was part of the deal, right?"

For the first time in a long time, he felt like a real, normal person with a life and a future ahead of him. Any opportunity to prolong this moment was just fine with him.

Gabriel was pretty sure he was never going to get tired of just how well he fit standing next to Sam with his arm around him. His arm snaked around his waist, giving a squeeze. "Then we're off to get ice cream. And now that we're officially pet owners, find that house with a nice yard that we need."

They were going to be okay this time. He wasn't just faking it to get out and get through the next few days until another crisis drove him back into a bottle. As long as they were together? They were going to make it.

"Wow..." Sam shook his head, a little amazed. Mystified. "How'd we get here? A year ago, I was sure I was going to die under a bridge somewhere. Now, we're going to live in a house with a yard and dogs..."

He shot Gabe a wry smile. "I keep forgetting how things can change so quickly."

Gabriel is pretty sure that Sam smiling will always be one of his favorite things in the world. His first smiles in rehab were small and tight, like he was afraid to let himself feel. But as they spent more time together, they started to slowly relax and brighten more and more of his face. The first time Gabriel saw dimple, real dimple, he considered it something of a personal victory.

He raised up for a quick kiss, "That's because together we're awesome. C'mon, I want a hot fudge sundae the size of a bowling ball to celebrate. I think we've earned it Sammy."

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My life's a jigsaw puzzle with the corner pieces missing.

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