My life's a jigsaw puzzle with the corner pieces missing.

[milesfromfine]

True to their word, Ellen and Bobby had Sam in a real rehab center just as quick as they could arrange it. He wasn't sure how they'd managed it financially and that worry weighed on him as much as all the rest. Another item to add to the miles-long list of ways he'd complicated their lives.

He hadn't seen or heard from Dean since Bobby found him in that motel, either. His brother might have finally given up on him. Sam couldn't help but be a little glad for him, even though he felt the loss like a physical wound every day.

The rehab place wasn't... awful. Sam was messed up enough to resent being there and the withdrawals he suffered through in the first few days were horrific, although they did have medicines that helped a little. After he'd come through them and began to resemble something more like human, they'd started his treatment.

Or, tried to, anyway. Sam wasn't really interested in 'opening up' to strangers and being locked in a place he couldn't leave wasn't really encouraging him to change his mind on it. Progress was slow. Very slow. Sam wasn't sure he'd ever get to leave the place, which was probably exactly what he deserved.

The only part of the whole mess that didn't suck completely was the time each day that he was permitted to sit in the sun room with the other patients. He hadn't really done much in the way of mingling, but it was nice to sit in the seats along the big windows and feel the sun on his face for a while.

Comments

[low_key_angel]

Gabriel's been in and out of this particular rehab facility so long he's starting to lose count. He knows everyone, the long-timers, newbies pale and sweating through detox, the nurses and doctors, even the janitors knew his name. Gabe Novak - youngest of four brothers who tended to spend most of his time either in rehab or buried in a bottle somewhere when his brothers started in on each other again. It was a never ending cycle, but at least in rehab he got some peace and quiet. And speaking of.. there was the new guy again, quiet and still as he soaked up the sun.

This had to change. Gabriel talked to everyone, it was kind of his thing. So after raiding his stash of chocolate in his room, Gabriel flopped gracelessly down into the chair beside Sam. He swung his legs up on the arm and tossed the candy into his lap with a wink. "Nice view, ain't it?"

[milesfromfine]

Sam had been in the facility for a couple weeks now. He was almost used to the routine, carefully laid out by the hospital professionals. It was almost comforting, at times. Other times, it was suffocating. Those times, he was most glad for Gabriel's presence. The other man had some sort of magical knack for saying or doing the right thing to snatch Sam back from the edge of despair. Often, it was just his presence and seemingly unending need for physical contact that soothed him.

During that time, Ellen and Bobby came to visit a few times. Sam was always equal parts glad to see them and deeply ashamed that they had to see him there, struggling again. The visits always left him in a funk of self-loathing. Those, again, were times Gabriel seemed to save him from himself.

Sam hadn't realized how much he'd come to rely on that presence until he couldn't find it one morning. Sam searched, but couldn't find Gabriel in any of his usual spots. Not even outside in their spot by the lake. Part of him started to worry that Gabriel might have left treatment. The thought that he might be stuck there alone started a little knot of panic in his stomach. Now that he'd gotten used to not being alone, going back would be a nightmare.

He finally found himself at the door to Gabriel's room, raising a hesitant hand to knock. If he didn't find him here, then he really was gone...

[roadhouse_mama]

Sam had been in rehab for about a month and a half now. Ellen came every other Sunday to visit, even if it was only for a few minutes. It killed her to watch Sam struggle through withdrawal, to watch the weight slip off him again. He wasn't getting better though, not for those first couple of weeks. Sam was still.. drifting.

But not anymore. Sam was smiling. Happier. When Ellen came in for a hug, he was quick to return it. Maybe the rehab was working this time. Maybe Sam would come home better for it and they could finally put all of this behind them.

"You look good Sam."